A moment in my story:
Strung out for years and living on the streets for months, again I stood at a family member’s front door, late at night, begging for “just some food.”
As she cried and closed the door in my face, I suddenly realized something for the first time, I was truly alone. No one was going to rescue me.
Many had tried to rescue me many times and this had gone on for years. But this day, this episode, at this time, I suddenly knew now, finally, I was alone. I had felt alone but now I knew I was.
I knew something had to change. Several attempts at suicide, horrible family tragedy, abuse, emotional pain so deep it strangled my soul, I coped for years, drowning out the pain, legal troubles, loss of massive amounts of money, failure, regrets, shame, pain… I was at my end. Something had to change. Now.
And now at this doorstep I knew, If something was going to change in this moment, It was going to have to start with me. A decision. I was ready. I was alone.
This moment was one of my most powerfully life shifting moments. Knowing I needed help and knowing no one was going to save me, something clicked.
I heard someone share once that no one ever dies from a snake bite. I thought, “Sure they have.” They went on to explain, “Not the bite. It’s the venom circulating and making it’s way to the heart that kills you.”
I had been “bit” many times in life, many bites self inflicted too. We’ve all been bit. But it’s that venom; the resentment, anger, hate, rage… blame… that eventually takes us down. And that was on me. I was fueling that fire.
Sure I had the “right” to fuel the anger, rage… the pain. But that doesn’t change the fact that it was I who was keeping it alive and burning. Just me. This was a powerful realization.
Realizing no one was to blame for my present pain; I took responsibility.
And knowing no one was going to rescue me, I took that responsibility here too.
From victim to Empowered.
Today, well over a decade later, my life is like a dream most days. I’ve found multiple levels of success and fulfillment, and it’s only getting better. I don’t share this to brag, but to bring home a point. I was no one special, but thankfully “special” isn’t a requirement for transformation and success.
Created in the likeness of our Creator, we too are creators. The Universe supports growth, health and vibrant life, we just have to align with it.
Today, I know I am not at the effects of life, I can choose to create my life. And as I believe this, and act on this, life works for me.
Yes, of course I have challenges and tough moments, situations. But situations are just situations, they are only problems if I make them into problems.
A perfect life is not a condition I place on my happiness today. And when I have setbacks, I move on, these don’t define me. In fact I redefine these as opportunities, stepping stones. Feedback from the Universe on how to do even better next time. Gifts in disguise.
I was once at utter despair, emotionally, psychically, mentally and spiritually. I was hopeless. Today I share hope and serve hope, I support and participate in change for others because I’ve done it and others have supported me. I know change and transformation is possible for anyone. I believe in it. Anyone willing to believe in themselves deep enough, and take responsibility for all of it, can make change.
The moment we stop blaming life, seeking rescue from others, begin taking responsibility for our experience of life, creating and transmuting problems into opportunity, we begin to empower ourselves, and from here anything is possible.
I thank God and my family, and the dozens who helped me along the way. I share my gratitude for you every day through the work I do. It’s what fuels me. I’m forever grateful.
If you are struggling. There is hope. At times there may seem no way out, know this: there is always a way through.
Your greatest struggles can become your greatest triumphs.
Don’t believe doubt and fear. They lie.
Imagine your greatest potential and begin focusing on that instead.
Believe in that instead.